How do I handle this situation
I have dated some woman for over two years and doesn't allow penetrative sex She first told me after school and then after graduation but still no We were planning atleast next month but she told she will shy when she sees her mum She is a virgin How do I go about that Thanks
It sounds like you’re feeling confused and frustrated because you’ve been together for a long time and the timing keeps changing. Those feelings are understandable. At the same time, sex should only happen when both people genuinely feel ready, safe, and willing.
- Try separating what you know from what you may be assuming. You know she keeps postponing penetrative sex, but you may not yet know why. Rather than focusing on "When will she finally be ready?" gently ask what is making her hesitant and listen without trying to convince her.
- I would also notice what this brings up for you—rejection, disappointment, insecurity, or frustration—and ask yourself what kind of partner you want to be in response. Be careful not to treat thoughts like “she doesn’t love me” or “I’ve waited long enough” as facts.
Therapy may also help her understand what is underneath the hesitation—anxiety, fear of pain or pregnancy, family or cultural expectations, beliefs about sex, or simply not feeling ready. Couples therapy can also help you both talk openly about intimacy, boundaries, and expectations.
Your needs matter too. Respecting her boundary does not mean ignoring your own. If you both want very different things around sex, the bigger question may be whether your needs and values are compatible long-term.