How do I build a normal relationship with my parents
My parents usually do listen to me and they always cast aside my suggestions or decisions about my own life and the things am supposed to do individually, and they always use the argument that they are my parents and am their child even if I lay out all the pros and cons of the choice, sometimes even if the choice is the logical one They too usually manipulate me especially love bombing after they have knowingly done something wrong and they know it I really want to have a healthy relationship with them but I nolonger want to tolerate their emotional attacks and the underlying flaws of their characters just because they are my parents Please help me voyage through this journey ARIGATO
Wanting a good relationship with your parents while also wanting to be respected as your own person can be really hard. You can love them deeply and still feel hurt by how some conversations go.
Sometimes we keep thinking, “If I explain it better, maybe they’ll finally understand.” But part of growing into yourself is realizing that you can communicate clearly and lovingly, and they still may not agree. That does not automatically mean you are wrong.
- Try thinking about the kind of relationship you want to build with them. Maybe you value love, family, respect, and closeness—but also independence, peace, and emotional safety.
- Boundaries can help protect all of those things. A gentle boundary might sound like: “I really value your opinion, but I also need space to make some decisions for myself.” Or, “I want us to talk about this, but I don’t want us to hurt each other while doing it.”
Therapy can also be a good space to understand the patterns in your family, work through guilt or fear around setting boundaries, and learn how to stay connected without losing yourself. You don’t have to choose between loving your parents and protecting your peace.