It's completely understandable to feel confused, uncertain, or even conflicted when trying to understand who you truly are, especially when your personal feelings seem to be at odds with the beliefs of your family and friends. You are not alone in this experience, and it’s okay to take your time in figuring things out.

First, I want to acknowledge that what you’re feeling is real, valid, and completely normal. It can be incredibly difficult to navigate your own emotions and attractions when you feel societal or familial pressure to be a certain way. It’s okay to feel unsure or even to struggle with accepting certain aspects of yourself. Identity and attraction are deeply personal, and you deserve the space to explore them without fear or shame.

Many people go through a phase of questioning their identity, and that does not mean something is wrong with them. Attraction is complex and can be fluid; having occasional feelings for someone of the same sex does not necessarily change your core identity. Struggling with acceptance, especially due to external pressures, is not a sign of failure—it is a sign that you are deeply aware of your emotions and trying to understand them in a way that aligns with your personal values and comfort.

Instead of seeing this as a conflict, consider reframing it as a journey of self-discovery. Ask yourself:

• What do I truly feel, independent of outside influences?
• What aspects of my identity bring me peace and fulfillment?
• How do I define my values, and how can I live authentically while respecting them?

It sounds like you want to remain attracted to the opposite sex while also navigating any other feelings that arise. That’s okay. You don’t have to force yourself into a label or a category—your feelings are yours to understand in your own time. Recognizing that attraction does not automatically define who you are can be a helpful perspective.

Identity exploration is not a one-time decision; it’s a process. It’s okay to feel conflicted today and more confident tomorrow. Therapy, self-reflection, and even journaling about your feelings can help you gain more clarity over time. You might also find it helpful to engage in discussions with open-minded individuals who allow you to express yourself without judgment. It’s also important to be patient with yourself—just like any aspect of personal growth, understanding your identity takes time.

You are not alone, and you are not wrong for feeling the way you do. Your worth is not determined by your attractions, and your identity is not something you need to “fix.” It’s okay to hold onto the parts of yourself that feel right while giving yourself the freedom to explore the ones that you’re still figuring out.

No matter what, you deserve love, acceptance, and happiness—both from yourself and those around you. It’s okay to take this journey at your own pace and in a way that feels right for you. You don’t have to rush the process or feel pressured to conform to any expectations—whether they come from others or from yourself.

If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.