I want help to overcome social anxiety
My hands tremble while eating when being watched, or acting while being watched. I've tried several times to think positively, take the deep breaths but nothing seems to work. I feel so tired of people noticing that I tremble while eating, I can't even go out on a date with the man I love, because I'll end up trembling before everyone to embarrass him. I am so tired of it, what should I do, please help me
What you’re describing sounds really exhausting, especially when you want to enjoy something as simple as a meal or a date without worrying about whether people will notice your hands.
One thing that can happen with social anxiety is that the more you think, “I must not tremble” or “Everyone will notice,” the more your body goes into threat mode—and the trembling can actually become stronger. So this is not about simply “thinking positive” or breathing harder.
- It can help to gently challenge thoughts like “If I shake, I’ll embarrass him” or “Everyone will judge me,” and gradually practise the situations you are avoiding instead of waiting until the anxiety disappears completely.
- Taking it further, rather than making stopping the trembling the goal, you can practice saying, “My body is anxious right now, and I can still eat, talk, go on a date, and be present with someone I love.” The aim is to stop letting the fear of trembling decide what you are allowed to do.
A therapist who works with social anxiety, particularly using CBT and gradual exposure, could help you work through this step by step. Because trembling can also have physical causes, it would also be worth mentioning it to a doctor, especially if it happens outside anxious situations too.
And please remember: trembling is a body response, not something shameful. You deserve to enjoy connection even while you are still learning how to manage the anxiety. 🤍