Relationship issues
I can’t stop thinking about the conversation I had with my finacée. We are both in wrong. I went out of these nights, got drunk and was tipsy. One if his friends saw me and told him. He actually called me a “drunkard”. It hurt my man so bad for his friends to be calling me a drunkard and it just can’t get off my head too. I purpose not to drink again coz I’m not a serial drinker but I feel so hurt!!!!…. We talked about it. I apologized and we are willing to work on what we have left with our relationship but it’s still on my mind. My chest feels very heavy😭😭😭😭
You can take responsibility for what happened without turning one difficult night into your identity. Getting drunk that night is something you did; it does not automatically mean you are a “drunkard.” I can understand why hearing that word, especially from someone close to your fiancé, has stayed with you.
- It is important to notice the difference between the event and the story your mind may be building around it: “I embarrassed him,” “everyone thinks badly of me,” “maybe I ruined everything.” Ask yourself what you actually know. You apologized, you and your fiancé talked, and you have both chosen to work on the relationship.
- I would also encourage you not to fight the hurt or keep trying to make the thought disappear. You can acknowledge, “That comment really hurt me, and I’m still feeling it,” while choosing what matters to you now—honesty, responsibility, self-respect, and rebuilding trust.
- If you have decided to stop drinking, let that decision come from your values rather than shame. You can learn from the situation without punishing yourself for it.
- And be gentle with yourself during the repair process. Sometimes the conversation ends before our emotions have fully caught up.
Therapy can also help if you notice yourself replaying the incident, struggling with shame, or finding it difficult to move forward even after you have made amends. 🤍